Episode #163: Love, Boundaries & PCOS: Navigating Hormonal Shifts Together

Hi, and welcome back to the PCOS Repair Podcast. In today’s episode, we’re going to explore a topic that many of us are dealing with, often without realizing it—how the relationships in our lives interact with our PCOS health. Whether we’re talking about a significant other, friends, family, or coworkers, our relationships go far beyond the superficial. The emotional connections—or even emotional responses—we experience from others can impact our symptoms by increasing stress or fostering connection. These dynamics can either support or strain our PCOS health. Today, we’ll dive into emotional shifts, how our lifestyle can create space for emotional well-being, and how our relationships can either negatively or positively influence our PCOS symptoms. Let’s dive into this episode on navigating relationship dynamics so that the people around you contribute to more ease—not more stress—in your life.

So how do relationships affect PCOS, and how does this even show up? Often, it’s subtle and under the radar. You may not even be aware of how it’s impacting you. But things like fatigue, mood swings, and even a rise in symptoms like acne or weight gain can all be telling a deeper story—one that usually includes stress, and often that stress is tied to relationships. Of course, stress can also stem from money, fertility, or work. But much of it has to do with expectations—those of others, and the pressure we feel to meet them. For example, maybe your sister-in-law announces she’s pregnant. It’s not that you aren’t happy for her—or maybe you’re not, especially if she’s not particularly kind—but either way, it brings something you’ve been trying to ignore right to the surface. You weren’t planning on thinking about fertility today, but because of this relationship, now you’re forced to face it head-on. These kinds of situations create underlying stress.

Sometimes it’s more subtle. Maybe your coworkers expect you to join in on the morning coffee run, or the Friday potluck, or lunch at certain restaurants. There’s an expectation around how you participate in those relationships, and it can feel like you’re being pulled away from the healthier habits you’re trying to build. Or maybe it’s your partner—they’re not trying to sabotage you, but when you’re trying to avoid certain foods and they bring home your favorite treat to cheer you up, it doesn’t exactly help. Or they’re dealing with fertility stress in a different way, or maybe they’re less concerned about it than you are, which can also be emotionally difficult. So all these aspects of our relationships both arise because of PCOS and simultaneously worsen our PCOS symptoms due to the stress and emotional disruption they cause.

Maybe you’ve found yourself in situations like this: You’re trying to eat differently, but your family still wants pizza every night. Maybe you’re a mom with young kids or have extended family that always gathers on weekends and expects certain meals. You don’t want to cook separate meals, and it’s tough trying to bring a dish that you can eat and they’ll enjoy. Or maybe you want to feel close to your partner, but your libido has taken a hit due to hormone imbalances. Perhaps you’re feeling irritable, emotional, or like you’re on a roller coaster. You find yourself constantly apologizing or wondering why you don’t feel like yourself. This happens a lot, especially during hormone fluctuations—whether it’s starting or stopping birth control or just ongoing imbalances from PCOS.

Worsening symptoms like weight gain, acne, or hair issues can make you feel self-conscious. Even if no one else notices the changes, you do, and you interact differently with others because of how you feel. These are just a few ways that relationships and PCOS symptoms intersect. So what can we actually do about it?

What doesn’t work is when people try to reassure you in ways that feel dismissive. When someone says, “Just relax,” or “You look fine to me,” they’re trying to be encouraging, but it often leaves you feeling unseen. Or if a partner says, “You were just fine earlier. Where did that come from?” it can feel invalidating. You’re carrying emotional weight they may not understand, and sometimes it spills out. It’s not always easy to hold it together—and sometimes the emotions really do come out of nowhere. It’s confusing to them and to us. And when we don’t know how to talk about what’s going on, we might withdraw. People may pull away, or we pull away first, not knowing how else to deal with it.

This isolation can make things worse. It’s easy to feel like no one understands, like you’re the only one living this lifestyle or struggling with these emotions and symptoms. Some people naturally connect more when they’re struggling. That’s ideal. But not everyone is comfortable doing that—I know I’m not. So let’s start with boundaries.

Setting boundaries comes into play when others expect you to keep doing things the way you used to, but that no longer work for you. Maybe you’re skipping the coffee run or passing on the potluck. Maybe you handle family gatherings differently or don’t want to talk about starting a family with everyone.

Boundaries don’t have to be big dramatic declarations. You don’t need to draw a line in the sand. It’s more about creating the space you need to do what’s best for you. For example, maybe you’re skipping the morning pastry and coffee run—not because coffee is bad, but because you’re trying to reduce sugar or cut back on caffeine. You don’t have to explain this to your coworkers if you don’t want to. You can just say, “I ate at home today,” or “This sounded good to me today.” Most people stop asking after a few times. The key is that the boundary starts with you. Decide what works for you and go from there.

Family boundaries can be harder, especially when people ask invasive questions like, “When are you going to start a family?” or “Are you done having kids?” These questions often come from people who aren’t that close to you and don’t know your situation, which makes them all the more frustrating. You don’t have to answer them. You can respond with something like, “I hadn’t really thought about that,” and then change the subject. Or, if it fits your style, say, “That’s a pretty personal question.” You get to decide how much you share and with whom.

Sometimes, a little bit of information can help those closest to you better support you. For example, you might say, “I have PCOS, a hormonal condition that affects my mood, energy, and weight, so I’ve been more intentional with how I take care of myself.” That may be all they need to know. And for those you want closer to you, it can help them be more sensitive. If they don’t know you’re struggling with infertility, they may announce a pregnancy in a way that unintentionally hurts. Sharing—even just a little—can help prevent those moments and strengthen your support system.

The goal here is not to push people away with boundaries. It’s to create the space to take care of yourself and allow others the opportunity to support you. One of the hardest but most important relationships is often with a significant other. Men and women experience health and emotions differently, and irregular cycles and hormonal imbalances can feel foreign to many men. They may want to help but don’t know how. So it’s important to be clear. You might say, “I’m having a tough week with my symptoms. I just need to vent,” or “Can we please avoid going to that restaurant this week?” Be specific.

Sometimes your partner won’t want to join your lifestyle changes, and that’s okay. You can still ask for their support, even if they aren’t doing it with you. For example, ask them not to bring home certain foods or to keep them out of sight. Try to find compromises that meet both of your needs. Harmony doesn’t always mean full participation—it means finding a way to coexist while honoring each other’s boundaries.

To wrap up, healthy relationships are incredibly important for PCOS health. Positive relationships increase oxytocin, improve progesterone, reduce cortisol, and support emotional well-being. But strained or stressful relationships can increase cortisol, cravings, disrupt sleep, lower focus, and ultimately make it harder to stay motivated and disciplined. So focus on creating boundaries that respect your needs. Communicate to the degree you’re comfortable. Give yourself time and space to figure out what feels right. You don’t have to do this all at once. But remember, your relationships can be a powerful part of your healing journey if you give yourself the permission to shape them in a way that supports your health.

If you found this episode helpful, be sure to hit the subscribe button on your favorite podcast platform. And if you’d like more resources or to connect further, find me on Instagram @nourishedtohealthy. Until next time, bye for now.